It wasn’t long ago that I believed a relationship was about finding someone I could tolerate, keeping the deep dark stuff hidden, sacrificing and justifying who I really was, and pretending to be someone they could tolerate while not being too intimidating.
Easily dazzled by words, blinded by physical attraction, or bullied into a relationship, I was used to being put on a pedestal; wings clipped, caged, ignored, the pride of whomever I was dating…never asking for anything in return. Never demanding action to follow countless promises, or even basic common decency, it was hard to believe when I was told that one day I will find a complete and amazing love.
I want to tell the story of a girl who was certain relationships were about tolerating, hiding, and being wrong. One day a boy walked across the street and they talked for 8 hours. She asked, “Where’s your smile?” “I don’t remember,” he responded. “Where’s your heart?” he asked. “I keep it safely hidden because you will leave or die or ask me to be anything other than what I am,” she answered.
“Well, I really like who you are and I would like you to be exactly who you are. And yes, I could die, so could you, but I would like to live our lives together while we can, if that’s ok. Otherwise, I’m not going anywhere.”
“I’ll push you away.”
“OK. I’m not leaving.”
“Yes you will.”
“OK, we will see.”